Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
