My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize