absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
