You work out of a Hotel?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dick very happy bro
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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