so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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