Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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