I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
