I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
