absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
