Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Be still, my beating vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
