ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
