He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize