i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
