Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
