There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
