its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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