we have officially lost it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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