Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
