yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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