thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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