If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
