last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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