so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we're making bets on your personal life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize