he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
