My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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