the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize