these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
