when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
