Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
ttyl tear gas
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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