If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize