you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize