No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
