I think my fart just growled at me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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