just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
