this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
