I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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