Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
