Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
