Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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