what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
