even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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