So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just want nice things and good sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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