You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
