I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
