If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
