it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
