Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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