Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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