He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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