I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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