I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
