Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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