It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
