Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
