I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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