I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
