i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
