Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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