so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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