Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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