i just snorted my name. best moment ever
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
