I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
