Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
