Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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