You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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