I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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